Konami Takes a few Tips from Big Brother

We’ve had so much good news today! Terarria mods would be awesome, and raising money for Doctors Without Borders is enough to bring sunshine to even the stormiest hearts! And now that we’ve all gotten nice and cozy, let’s slip back into reality and talk at length about why Konami is now a piece of crap.

Nikkei has recently posted an exposé exposing Konami’s inner workings after interviewing an anonymous source within the company--and the picture they paint is stark, confusing, depressing, and sometimes downright creepy. As it turns out, the company that brought you disappointment (otherwise known as the cancellation of Silent Hills) and Metal Gear Solid 5 (in no way related to Kojima, as they’d want you to believe) has been growing increasingly Orwellian ever since the success of the 2010 mobile game Dragon Collection became a smash hit in Japan. Konami has been rather public with its intention to shift focus away from hardcore console and PC development to focus more on the low-risk high-reward world of mobile games, but apparently the switch messed with their heads in ways they weren’t willing to disclose to the public.

What exactly are they doing? According to Kotaku’s translation, put in order of increasing creepiness by yours truly:

-The studio formerly known as Kojima Productions is currently called Number 8 Production Department internally. This is weird, but what makes it creepy is that all the computers in that studio aren’t connected to the internet.

-No one in the staff, outside PR and HR, has a permanent work email address. Apparently, they shuffle around e-mails every few months.

-Regardless of whether you’re a new staff member or an old veteran, if you’re seen as useless, you’ll be ‘transferred’ to a completely irrelevant position in the company, such as janitor, security guard, or even a slot machine factory worker. Apparently, the transfer is enough to cause increasing bouts of medical depression in those who are forced to make the switch.

-There are security cameras in the building, which is normal. Less normal is that they’re being monitored during the day to keep track of the employees, rather than to spy on intruders.

-Their lunch hours are monitored carefully with the punch-out clock. That’s weird, but downright creepy is the way they apparently call out anyone who stays out late at lunch publically to the whole company. Shaming, I suppose. Gross.

-A former employee once announced he was quitting: Konami made a note of everyone who ‘liked’ the post and moved everyone who did around in the company, separating them and possibly putting a few in the whole “slot machine purgatory” we spoke about earlier.

That ain’t right. Whatever’s going on at Konami, it’s starting to come to a head, and I feel as if this is just the preamble before the whole thing erupts. Regardless of the aftermath, be it good or bad, I’d advise you prepare for a blowout. I very much doubt, if Konami does go out, it’ll go out quietly and dignified… or alone.