That was Fast: Konami Now Hiring for New Metal Gear Game

As you’ve probably heard at some point this week, Konami and Kojima have finally parted ways, putting an end to months of speculations, rumors, and theories surrounding their growingly disparent relationship. We still don’t know exactly what happened between those two that turned them from best friends to enemies, but it’s very unlikely we’ll ever find out from either party and, besides, dwelling on the past is in poor taste. Both just want to move on: Kojima has struck up a partnership with Sony and is hard at work on a new game, and Konami is officially hiring new staff for the next Metal Gear Soli-

-wait what?

Yep. Turns out, Konami is now hiring people who are either desperate or poorly abreast of current events, because they recently started looking for new talent to work on what they call New Metal Gear. Sounds like a great way to land a job at a hated company and earn vitriol from the entire gaming community, so, if that’s your jam, here are the qualities you’ll need:

• Experience in high-end game development, planning, etc.
• Boundless imagination, and the capacity for exciting new ideas
• A strong passion toward game creation
• The communication skills to effectively communicate your ideas

Oh, and nationality doesn’t matter, they are hiring from both the US and Japanese office.

Now, I don’t want to sound pompous or aloof here--if they offered me this job, I’d sure as heck take it. But then, I’m desperate, inexperienced, and longing for the opportunity to turn all my bad Metal Gear Solid fanfiction canon, even though nothing produced by me or anyone who takes this position will ever be considered canon by fans of the series. I also don’t want to dissuade anyone else who might be qualified and reading this from giving it a shot… just… remember who we’re dealing with here. It’s Konami. They probably only pay people in puppy corpses.

Not that you can’t make a living on puppy corpses, just be ready to deal with the smell.