Bioware is Now Selling Garrus Body Pillows. For Real.

In case you missed it, yesterday was April 1, and I gotta say as far as company pranks go, this year it was really tame. Nintendo pretended Kirby was a square, the Boxboy people pretended their characters were round, and it was all cute and harmless and fun. But Bioware also took part of festivities, and since it’s a little too late to call Anthem the most elaborate April Fools Day joke ever, they decided to revisit some of the old greatest hits and make a bunch of players dreams a beautiful reality.

You see, back in 2014, Bioware joked on April Fools that they would soon start selling a Garrus Vakarian body pillow, giving you the opportunity to snuggle with your favorite space bro. This year, Bioware actually delivered, and now you can actually pre-order said body pillow from Jinx for $30.

Of course, there’s a pretty big caveat: namely, it’s not really a body pillow, it’s a body pillow cover, which means you’ll have to buy your own full-body pillow or make friends with someone who’s okay with being zipped up in a pillowcase and called Garrus. Just make sure they’re the right size because the case measures 53x24 inches, so tall people will have to really squeeze in there. At least they’ll be comfortable because apparently the case is made of a “super comfortable brushed polyester”.

Also, there’s a picture of Garrus on both sides, so you can pick what position he’s in when you clamp down on him like the lonely single mom that you are. That’s nice. Less nice is that no matter what position he’s in, he’s clothed, so if you were hoping to rub your body against his rough, gray skin, well… I hate to rain on your parade.

The body pillows start shipping on the week of June 17, so you’ve got plenty of time.